Many people aren’t willing to admit it, but we all have that Frosted Mini Wheat aspect to our identities, the yin and the yang, Jekyll and Hyde and so forth. I’m actually pretty in touch with this part of myself.  I have a sort of David vs. Wolkin thing going on. I think of my David side as the thoughtful, intelligent, critical thinker, and Wolkin? Well, he’s the guy who thinks Steven Seagal is really awesome, without a hint of irony.

The only thing they agree on is Keith David, which is the only thing that everyone agrees on.

Now that you have the context, it is with great excitement that I present to you a new feature entitled “Wolkin/CounterWolkin,”  in which David and Wolkin will engage in dialogue with one another about the latest comics!!!

David: So I know it came out last week, but I was really excited about the latest volume of 20th Century Boys. I think the story is really starting to come to a head and we’re getting that much closer to finding out who the Friend is. What were your thoughts?

Wolkin: I can’t believe you listen to that glam rock crap. That’s what this is about, isn’t it? I remember what happened right after you saw Billy Elliot. You ran upstairs, locked yourself in your bedroom, put on Cosmic Dancer and jumped on your bed, just like little Billy.

David: That not what I’m getting at. Yes the title of the book is inspired by a T. Rex song, but don’t forget, this is by Naoki Urasawa, the same guy who did Pluto. Remember how much you loved that book?

Wolkin: I remember how much I loved watching you cry like a little boy who dropped his ice cream anytime you were reading the parts without robots beating the crap out of each other. I also love reading about robots beating the crap out of each other, because that is a wonderful thing. I didn’t see a single robot fight in this book. I saw toy robots sitting in some weird guy’s room. That was about it.

David: But can’t you look beyond simple violence and appreciate the unparalleled storytelling at work here? The pacing, the strong characterization, the quality of the artwork? Here, take a look at this:

This is an incredible panel. Look at the layout, the angle, the positioning of the characters in relation to the bent spoon and the-

Wolkin: IT IS TWO PEOPLE IN A DONUT SHOP AND THEY ARE NOT EATING DONUTS. LOOK AT THIS

David: Ok, so we clearly have some middle ground here. This was a powerful moment in the book; the seeming revelation of the Friend’s identity, which then proves not to be the case. There was high drama right here, though I will admit that as much as I love the story so far, the constant bait-and-switch about revealing who the Friend is has gotten a little bit tiresome for me.

Wolkin: It is a man’s head on a little boy’s body and it looks very funny and when I look at it I laugh because it is funny.

David: Oh my God, you’re an unbelievable idiot. You’re why I don’t get dates anymore, isn’t it?

Wolkin: I’m pretty sure your little non-comics collection right here is why you don’t date anymore.

David: I hate you so much. You know what I didn’t hate? The latest issue of Secret Warriors! I’m really enjoying Jonathan Hickman’s storytelling in all of his books, but I was especially struck by how he mixed the scenes of battle and political maneuvering with these intense emotional moments among The Howling Commandos, reminding the reader of the powerful bonds formed between these men through decades of fighting together.

It’s hard not to care about these characters the way Hickman writes them, and it makes you feel their losses that much more.

Wolkin: I swear, everything is like the last day of summer camp with you, isn’t it? GUNS NINJAS SPLOSIONS!!!!! That’s all I got here. I do have to say, though, there was one really hilarious moment in this book. I can’t believe you missed it.

David: I’m willing to bear with you on this.

Wolkin: Ok, so you know how Captain America always gives speeches about things, sometimes a little bit at the wrong time? Like, he’ll kick a guy in the head, stand on top of a building, puff out his chest and start talking to no one in particular about how much he loves America?

David: I love those speeches.

Wolkin: Of course you do, for the same reason you love reruns of Dawson’s Creek. Anyways, at the end of this book, Cap is talking to Nick Fury, and then he starts giving a speech about why Nick Fury is Nick Fury to Nick Fury. It’s pretty ridiculous. Check it out:

David: I don’t see any humor in this at all. It’s a device for Hickman to remind the reader what lies at the heart of Nick Fury as a character in light of the impossible decisions that he’s been forced to make throughout this entire book.

Wolkin: I just made the less-than-impossible decision to tune you out and watch this instead:

David: That’s just…awesome. Anyways, I think we have time to talk about one more book. Sense & Sensibility #4 came out this week. Even though I have yet to read the original books (tsk tsk!), these faithful adaptations have me really excited to pick them up someday. Also, Mom really loves these.

Wolkin: We’re done here.