This is a thing that I have wanted to do for quite some time. I am doing it now. I will not waste your time like I have wasted my own, so let’s get started!

My name is (David) Wolkin. If you’re reading this, then you probably already know that. If you didn’t know that, then you absolutely just learned this.

I like a lot of things. Here are some of those things:

1. Comics
2. Chicken
3. Waffles
4. Awkwardness
5. Handlebar mustaches

There’s a bunch of other stuff that I like, I just can’t remember them at the moment.

There’s this too. I really like images of panda bears hugging. I can’t imagine anyone that wouldn’t.

Anyways, here are some of the things that I hope to be doing here:

Comic Mashups: This isn’t so original, I know a lot of people have photoshopped together various comics to make something new. Since I don’t really know how to use photoshop, I’ll be doing something a little bit different. About a month ago, I may or may not have started brief #comicmashups thing on Twitter, in which people were basically just mixing titles of various comics and TV shows or movies. I’ll be writing up what some of these situations would actually look like. For example: suppose you took the show “Sanford & Son”, but you replaced the son with Shang Chi. Like that.

This is a Thing That I Like: Like I said, I like a lot of things. I’m going to try and write about them whenever I can. Mostly comic things.

Pitches that Everyone Should Ignore: I’ve got ideas for some comics. They’re absolutely horrible. I insist on sharing them with you.

Context Doesn’t Matter: As many out-of-context panels as I can possibly scan. I’m pretty sure everyone else is already doing this, but I’m a joiner.

What If?: I don’t know why Marvel ever stopped publishing this comic as an ongoing. First of all, it has this guy:

Uatu the Watcher is an alien who lives on the moon, and just watches people on Earth ALL THE TIME. But he especially watches the superheroes. For some reason, no one ever talks about how strange it is that there’s an alien voyeur potentially watching them in the shower, but in “What If?”, Uatu invites the reader to speculate on what the Marvel Universe would look like if things had gone a little bit…differently. I’ll basically be doing the same, except unlike exactly like Uatu, I’ve got something of a messed up imagination.

Superpeople with Handlebar Mustaches: This is my favorite. I personally don’t thing there is anything in this world funnier than a superhero/villian with the addition of a handlebar mustache (the occasional fu manchu is acceptable). A monocle heightens this even further. I’m going to be trying to get as many artists to help with this as possible. If you want to participate, I can try to reimburse you with my limited funds and I will most certainly love you forever, but think of the joy that you’ll be bringing to the unwashed masses!

The Basement: This has nothing to do with comics, but I’ve been interested in this idea for a while. In the summer of 2002, I spent two weeks in New York, cleaning out my grandparents’ basement. While they were hardly hoarders, they held onto a lot of random stuff in the 40-plus years that they had lived there. I saved a few things, because I know that the objects in our lives can tell us important stories about the people that we have been. Or sometimes they tell us the wrong story altogether. In any event, I’ve been talking about this with people for years and everyone I know has a few objects like the ones I’m thinking about.

So consider this last one a request for submission, because I want this last piece to be filled in by others. Do you have something that found in a family basement that you just decided to keep for all these years? Do you have some kind of random knick knack that belonged to someone in your life that only has value to you? I want to hear about it! Click here to contact me.

So that’s that. Something you won’t see here is a lot of hating. There’s enough of that on the Internet. I’d rather discuss the things that I like. I also won’t attempt any kind of serious comics criticism, since there are so many brilliant people already doing that, and I’m not much of a critical thinker when it comes to the delicious comics.

A HUGE thank you to Rusty Shackles for the amazing logo and Dan Sieradski for designing the site.

There are sure to be some other fun surprises along the way. I most certainly hope you’ll join me, and I’ll do my best to make it fun for everyone.